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Canceling Your Wedding

You've spent countless hours working with right florist envisioning the perfect shoes, and every little detail right down to the nail color of your bridesmaids. And then suddenly, it's off. ! So it turns out the your future Mr. or Mrs. is actually not Mr. or Mrs. Right. Sure, it could be cold feet. But sometimes your feet get so cold that you get hypothermia and are forced to postpone the wedding until next spring, or until, well, never. Whether you are calling the whole thing off or just need some time to get things in order, you must exercise good etiquette in breaking the news. Unfortunately, these things happen. Breaking the news must be done in a proper fashion. Here, how to do it right. # '''"Um, Mom, Dad. I have something to tell you..."''' First and foremost, let your parents know especially if they are helping to pay for the wedding. Sit them down and explain what happened and why you feel that marriage isn't right for you right now or with this person. Make sure that they understand it is not acceptable to gossip with their friends and associates about why the cancellation/postponement occurred. # '''"We regret to inform you that the wedding planned to take place..."''' Next, contact your guests. Emailing is ideal since you can contact many people instantly and you won't have to go into the details about why the wedding is off. However, for those without email, you might consider calling since it is a fast way of getting in touch. Just keep in mind that you want to be brief and avoid the details. Guests will inquire, but it is not their business so do not feel obliged to get into details. Simply tell them that you mutually decided to cancel/postpone the wedding and leave it at that. If the idea of calling a hundred people to repeat over and over that you have called off your wedding makes you feel depressed, consider mailing formal cards (written in the same style as an invitation) or informal notes (in the style of your choice). Always be certain to get in touch with guests coming from out of town as soon as possible so that they can cancel their travel plans. # '''"I'd like to cancel the order for the limo..."''' Besides your guests and family, make sure to contact the officiant and your vendors. Parents or other close friends and family can help if needed. But, if you have a planner, have him or her take care of it. Know that you'll have to dig up the old paperwork and check what the policy on cancellation is. Sometimes you can get back a portion of the deposit, and usually the sooner you get in contact with the vendors the better. # '''"Thank you for all the good wishes..."''' With gown should also be returned if possible. Bridal shops may offer to sell it at a sample sale so you can get back some of the money or you can try to sell it online. Finally, there is always the option of donating it. # '''"I'm not the one who cancelled the wedding..."''' Etiquette says that the person who cancelled has to beef up the cash for covering the bills. However, should a couple mutually agree to break off the engagement, it is best to share the costs. Note that wedding insurance will not protect you from cancellation on the bride and groom's behalf.