Christmas Etiquette
When referring to the word "nutcracker" 
, what comes to mind? Is it sugar plum fairies dancing in your head? Holiday magic? The several uncle, step-uncle, and great-uncle Peters--all named after the blessed saint of course--that attack your life choices over honeyed ham? Well, if the nuts in question are yours, Christmas can be torturous. When dealing with family, try to repress the urges for payback (which include but are not exclusive to slipping coal down their pants and/or substituting it for their chocolate covered Turkish delight). For the sake of elders and even yourself, avoid family scruples and embrace the storybook cheer of the season. Your family has to be nice to you, so take advantage.
For events outside the family, a different set of landmines are waiting to explode. At the office party, there's the question of just how much 'special' egg nog to drink or how low cut your holiday sweater should be. At least we're here to help you with some of those questions; for others you might want to check out this Christmas Survivor's Guide. Good luck and Happy Holidays!
Hosting
Playing host on the big day can be an absolutely horrifying experience. Between keeping an eye on the casserole and organizing presents under the Christmas tree, it can be hard to keep your etiquette in check. So if you find yourself in charge of the party, here are some tips to ensure this Christmas is a happy one:
Christmas Eve/Day- Get everyone to pitch in...your grandmother may have denied help in the kitchen, but don't be a fool--any hand is a helping hand.
- Do not "out" your sister's unwed pregnancy. Let her do this at whatever time she feels is safest from attack. Let that be your gift to her.
- Furthermore, do not selfishly use the good holiday spirit to drop any family bomb (or friend bomb) in hopes that it will lessen the situation.
- Make this a team effort. Ask people to bring side dishes or desserts so that your purse doesn't suffer and neither do you (well, not as much).
- Conversely, if you are a guest, bring something to the host's house. Doing such a big holiday is laborious as it is. Help out a little.
- Don't take it upon yourself to inform other peoples' children about the facts of life; psychologically damaging a child out of bitterness is just wrong.
- "Grandma got run over by a reindeer" is not to be sung in the presence of any grandmothers. In my experience, this act can be highly insulting.
- If you have not learned by now, the holidays are stressful times and you will be faced with people on edge. Try to create a pleasant atmosphere.
- Even if you hate the gifts you receive, say you like them. It isn't going to hurt anyone to exchange the gift later because it "didn't fit".
- Stop giving grief because you got the wrong Palm Pilot. Jeez, be a little grateful.
- Make someone feel good about the gift they bought you.
Holiday Parties - Start with applying all the above rules and substituting the word "friends" for family and relative, and "mate" for sister and grandmother.
- In the event that no grandmother is present, by all means play "Grandma got run over by a reindeer". Know your audience.
- Do not worry about seating, especially at parties. It is likely that everyone will enjoy choosing their own seats or having a buffet.
- Do not go overboard with speciality wines/spirits. Buy a few staples and let them bring anything additional they wish to have.
- Please do not drink so much eggnog that you absolutely disregard all manners and dance on the table. You will be laughed at.
- In this multi-cultural world, not everybody celebrates Christmas. This means it is a bad idea to rub Jesus in the public face. No one likes an Evangelist.
- Decide beforehand if there will be gift giving or a Secret Santa and make an agreed upon price range.
- Look up some fun Christmas/holiday games to get everyone in the spirit.
- Try to include vegetarian/vegan friendly foods. It's just considerate.
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Decorations
When it comes time to deck the halls and hang the mistletoe, you'll want to make sure you follow these guidelines. After all, you don't want to have a burning tree or set of blown fuses on your hands! Keep in mind, no matter what set of decorations you choose, it's a good idea to have a theme. Weather it's Santa's Helpers or a Blue Christmas--a theme always helps keep the decorations looking cohesive.
- Please be tasteful with your decorations. Don't use anything that can blow away and damage your neighbour's property, or something that uses so much electricity that the entire neighbourhood short circuits.
- There is no need to go overboard with the decorations. Simple and/or traditional décor will create a focus and allow everyone to appreciate your handiwork. Don't worry about spending too much on these things.
- If you have decorations that are loud and noisy, please consider the fact that other people, animals, and plant life also live on this planet. And please turn them off at an appropriate hour.
- When expecting children around Christmastime or at a party, make sure you remove all breakable decorations. If you don't, things will break and somebody will get yelled at and blamed.
- Fire Hazards:
- Real candles are the most obvious fire hazard. Instead, use fake (electrical) ones that are made to look like the real thing.
- Overloading electrical sockets: This is bad any time but it is more frequently seen around the holidays. Don't do it unless you want to go up in flames.
- Christmas tree and decorating lights: Little lights good, big lights bad. The big lights give off more heat and are therefore susceptible to fires.
- For more safety tips, check out our Holiday Safety guide.
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Gifts
Gifts are a tricky territory to navigate. Depending on who you're giving to and where you're giving the present, different things may or may not be appropriate. For instance, office gifts are a beast of their own (picture frames are harmless if you get stuck for choices) and family gifts can be just as overwhelming (dad's are the worst of all!). So if you're unsure of what to give, check out one of our gift giving guides for some helpful hints.
 | - Fruitcake and/or marzipan is not a gift; it is a weapon.
- Forgetting to buy a gift for someone is not an option. Buy a few versatile gifts in the beginning of the season in case this occurs.
- Make sure the person for whom you are buying the gift will like what you buy them. It may seem cool to you, but you're not playing with it now, are you?
- Don't buy someone a gift "just because". If there is anything I have learned throughout the years, it is that buying someone something just for the sake of it is not worth it. The gift will either be re-gifted or have a long happy life in the back cupboard, and you will have wasted your money. Either find something they like, give them money, or get a gift card. Gift cards are great (except for people like me who let them sit in their purse until they expire).
- If there are going to be office decorations, make sure they are neutral holiday ones. Not everybody celebrates Christmas.
- Cards : Does it really take that much effort? A card around this time of year can really brighten someone's mood and it can be a little reminder of your presence. Stamps are cheap, send a card.
- Cards do not have to be personalized. It is nice to do so, but if you don't have the time, just getting them one shows you care.
- Gifts for Co-workers:
- Keep it simple with a card and holiday sweet(s).
- Don't buy your superiors gifts (it looks as if you are trying to buy an advancement).
- Don't spend more than about £5-£10.
- Repeat: No fruitcake. Bad gift.
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Related Guides
Check out our Christmas Buying Guide for all guides related to Christmas. Here are a few to get you started:
- Women's Guide to Holiday Dressing: This is a great place to start for all of your clothing questions. We have suggestions for shoes, outerwear and even makeup!
- Holiday Toy Guide: Kids are especially important during the holidays. Often times it's appropriate to buy presents for your friends' children, even if adults aren't exchanging gifts. If that's the case, check out this guide for some good starting points.
- Holiday Safety: In case you ignore our guidelines about decorations, then you may need these safety hints.
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